I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
