im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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