Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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