the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
