I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
