Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
