Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
