tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
