Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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