I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
