How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
