In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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