I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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