Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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