Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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