This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize