god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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