I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
