So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
