i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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