One girl and one boy is just not enough.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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