Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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