i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
