she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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