let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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