if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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