I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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