so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
