She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
