my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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