Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
