it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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