He uses pillows to masturbate.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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