i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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