Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
