Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
is that a dick in a sweater?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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