He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
