I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
