everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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