This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
