Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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