Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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