thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I lost the right to judge tonight
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
