don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
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he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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