I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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