What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
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His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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