Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
