I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
