jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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