He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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