thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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