he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
dude. I can hear the air.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
