I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
