I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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