Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
