after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
