okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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