let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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