Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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