Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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