It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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